So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
