you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
