no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
