dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
