soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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