just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
