perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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