just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he thought i was a dude.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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