Can Purell be used as lube?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
