I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
