I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
