What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
