Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Semen is not good for contacts.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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