I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
