Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
