TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
