Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
