dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Someone came in the potted fern
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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