Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize