Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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