its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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