Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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