We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
