He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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