Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize