Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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