I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
