Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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