My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
