if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
