If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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