I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize