so that wasnt chicken after all
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
