just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize