Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
