you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
