seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize