I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
there was a trapeze. enough said
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
