So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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