how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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