On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
