Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
