no, he came in my armpit
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
