I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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