I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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