I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
