I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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