I'm drive I can fine osifer
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
