he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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