I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
