Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize