The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
