We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
