He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
