We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
