Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
