What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
