I cockslap morals
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
