Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
