he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
