she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
