Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
