He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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